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Monday, April 9th

Get offline ASAP to see real her

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Online dating pitfalls

The Internet is an excellent place not only to search for information, but also to find a life partner. Some people get acquainted on the web by chance, others are registered on dating sites with purpose. Many people spend much more time on the web than in reality that’s why online dating has become so popular. People register on dating sites meet Ukrainian singles for various reasons: to have fun, to refresh love emotions or to find a life partner.

Naturally, acquaintance begins with correspondence, which gradually captures absolutely all participants. The virtual interlocutor fills all free time and space. Every new letter or message becomes a reason of your joy and releases a feeling of loneliness, even without meeting and physical intimacy in real life. Everything that is not visible, is not audible or tangible, a person is inclined to think and fantasize. It becomes a kind of game that immerses into the world of illusions and fantasies even more. At some point you become dependent on letters. If you are satisfied with the world of illusions, and you do not need a real life companion, then you can endlessly continue this virtual romance. But if you want to meet real love and live happily with a real person, then you have to take into consideration just one important point – the willingness of a partner to meet offline.

Many online dating starts with correspondence, ends with dates when they meet Ukrainian singles in real life. Even if the potential life partner lives far away, he flies to another country or city for a meeting and he is ready for any turn of events, even for disappointment. But most of Internet residents are satisfied with this online novel. Basically, these are men and women whose personal lives are arranged, but they feel a lack of something.

But you have another goal, haven’t you? If you have an online meeting with a nice person, correspondence has started, and the fantasy has already pictured a happy life together, so it’s time to learn about the virtual partner plans. Don’t hesitate. Usually people are afraid to ask such questions, the answer to which they might not like or make them upset. But you still have to ask. It is better to know the truth than to live in illusions and invent something that is not.

If the interlocutor can’t answer a direct question: “Are you going to meet me in real life?” or “When can we meet?” It means that they did not even think about this topic, and accordingly they were not going to transfer communication into reality. Draw conclusions. Of course, you can lose communication, which at some point became the meaning of life for you and gave hope.

But, think, why do you need to encourage and deceive yourself? You want happiness for yourself and loving family, or a real romantic relationship with a close and pleasant person. Therefore, it is not necessary to delay the direct and inconvenient questions, and you should stop any unpromising correspondence and not to waste your time.

Always keep the final goal in mind. Before you write another letter, ask yourself: why do you want to correspond? For the majority of this entire epic with a virtual romance started in order to find a worthy partner. And this means that the main task is to get as much information about them as possible, which will make clear if this person is your option  or not. Don’t think that correspondence should be absolutely practical and rational. There must be a lot of romance in it too but along with beautiful words, it is still worth asking practical questions.

Online Dating tips for men to avoid the five major traps on the Internet. What is the danger?

Trap #1. Easy and safe way of creating new contacts. Online “relations” are extremely easy to start and very easy to end. There is no need to worry about how you look, what impression you make on others: others will see you only if you want it, and the way you want it. A charming, captivating illusion of a full-fledged emotional life arises, without all the inevitable shortcomings and difficulties that real communication brings. What is the danger? The relationships we build in real life always require considerable mental effort to create and maintain them. Internet relations almost don’t require emotional work. Something went wrong? Just delete this contact from your list. Block the ability to send messages to you, change the mailbox address, and start from the beginning. The easy way of creating contacts makes it difficult to invest in their maintenance. The result is numerous short and empty virtual relationships, the fear of creating real relationships, the desire to blunt the feeling of loneliness with new and new virtual novels.

Trap#2. The internet gives the possibility not to be yourself.

Are you in real life – a boring accountant or a modest engineer – what’s the difference? Nothing can stop you from showing your intelligence and wit online. You can be a ruined oligarch or a successful lawyer. You can play any role that you always wanted to play. The awkwardness and shame disappear as if by magic when you communicate online. What is the danger? Online relationships often lead to the loss of “yourself”, they allow you to play “another yourself”, and the risk to play in this game is huge. There is a change in priorities: real life begins to seem like a boring preamble to the “real” one. The psychological problems that persistently require compensation are often exposed.

Trap#3. The image of any person online is completely devoid of reality.

We fill them with our own fantasies, desires, unsatisfied needs, and we are ready to believe that the person on the other side of the screen is really of that kind. Communicating with their virtual interlocutor, people, of course, are sure that they communicate with a person who matches them, understands them, always listens attentively, but in fact, communication happens to yourself.  People communicate with the image they create. In this case, the content of messages coming from the other side of the screen does not matter, since everything said by the interlocutor will be attributed to a fictitious image and endowed with a corresponding meaning. What is the danger? To live in a fantasy world for a while is extremely pleasant, but illusions can’t last forever.

If you are not addicted to the Internet yet, then you should have a desire to meet with a virtual partner in real life. And at that moment, it turns out that the created ideal image hardly corresponds to reality, hence appear disappointment and sometimes even depression. However, the most formidable danger is that after being carried away by the illusion, burning with the desire to keep it as long as possible, people cut themselves off  the possibility to create real relations or stop the already existing ones.

From one side, the Internet gives tremendous opportunities for the development of the human horizon, its informational “feeding”. On the other side, one can be painfully stuck on it. Some people go headlong into an illusory-virtual world and engage with “cyberbrides”, and gradually begin to lose the line between the real, everyday life and virtual images.

Trap#4. Addiction. It’s easy to get too involved in online dating; for some, this can cause addiction. Some enjoy flirtatious achievements of the opposite sex both in chat rooms, and in online dating services. People get involved in online relationships and become dependent on the world of online dating and chats. For some people, it becomes an obsession.

Trap#5. Online dating is not a real dating. There is addiction, obsession, vengefulness, despair, impulsiveness and even just the feeling of being guilty. Love is a strong emotion. Follow not only your heart, but common sense. You have to be overtaken by a seductive search for true communication.

According to online dating tips for men now you know: if the girl does not agree to have a real date for a long time – she just doesn’t want it. And don’t wait, listening to her endless excuses and the reasons for postponing meetings. Finish the correspondence and look for one that is ready for a real relationship with intrigue, passion, sex and the joy of owning each other.

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