Parents’ role in your relationships & pretty ukrainian lady
Our parents occupy an important place in life and deserve great love and respect from their children. As a rule, when a child is small, the parents fully control his actions, guarding and protecting him from the dangers of the big world. It is the older generation that builds in each of us the foundation of personality, teaches us to live, believe, love and overcome all the obstacles that have arisen along the way. Our future attitude to life depends on the way how our parents raise us. Without parents, our life would be meaningless and empty. They give us life, they are the first teachers and guides in destiny.
However, in the life of each person there comes a period when excessive parental control hinders spiritual growth, the realization of one’s creative potential and the organization of personal life. And then the question arises – what will the child do? What choice will he make? To obey the will of a powerful mother or despotic father or start building your own life away from them?
With all respect and love for parents, each son or daughter should have their own personal space, in which even beloved parents should not be allowed. Unfortunately, the sad statistics show that the reason of 80% of the divorces is in our precious parents. It is mothers-in-law who decide everything for their children and point them out to a suitable candidate. Even if you strongly love your partner and think that such love will not be destroyed by any tricks of yours or his parents, take care of your marriage. Try to avoid situations where the influence of your parents will be stronger than strong family ties.
If you feel that parents start interfering with your family life, try changing your place of residence. This especially applies to those who live with the parents under the same roof. It may sound tough, but run away from them until it’s too late, until your loved one escaped from you. Great parental love sometimes spares no one. Of course, you can try to establish contact with parents, and wait until they reconcile with your choice, but the best option for a young family will be renting an apartment and arranging your family nest. This will allow you to avoid major conflicts in which your parents will present you in front of your partner not in the best light. Keep on loving, respecting, and honoring your parents, but only at a distance. Sometimes this approach is the best way out and allows you to keep the relationship from divorce with your.
Parental blessing is an important part of relationship with pretty Ukrainian lady
It should be borne in mind that in today’s society, the desire to introduce your partner is clearly seen as a manifestation of the serious intentions. Despite the obviousness of the romantic relationship, it is impossible to foresee the parents’ reaction to this relationship.
Of course, parents, like all people, are different: some of them can be uneducated, socially disadvantaged (for example, drinkers), or simply “weird.”
The situation can be greatly complicated if a girl was brought up by only one parent. In this case, your partner can face such an unpleasant phenomenon as the jealousy of an “abandoned” parent. The jealousy of the parent, as a rule, appears unconsciously, and you may not recognize it immediately.
In any case, it is important to understand that the fear lies in the basis of jealousy and in addition to parental egoism. Fathers and mothers can manifest themselves in different ways: aggression among the first, and resentment of the latter. And if one does not particularly mention egoism, then the parents’ anxiety should be discussed with them. As a rule, our parents worry that you will visit them less because you will have new priorities. To get rid of these fears, find sincere words and let your relatives understand that they are irreplaceable, and you will never stop taking care of them. Do not think that this is kind of “understandable things” and if you did not say anything like that in your life, then you know – the time has come.
The lack of parental consent on the relationship particularly affects the emotional state of the pretty Ukrainian lady. Nowadays it is considered a remnant of the past, and is “somehow” a sign of inner freedom and independence not to take into account the opinion of the relatives about the partner.
But if parents are our history, then how can you be free from your own history? From your education, habits, values, because they are represented by our ancestors and what kind of people they were? Remember that not two people meet and marry, but two systems of life experience. Our parents’ blessing is one of Ukrainian wedding traditions that says: yes, he (she) is close to us, to our family and it means that you will not have serious conflicts based on differences in upbringing and experience, your relationship and marriage will be strong and fruitful.
Conflicts and compromises
Conflicts between daughters-in-law and father-in-law, father-in-law and son-in-law – and other new relatives – are a frequent thing. We downplay their significance rather often. Although in fact most of the families could be saved by improving these relationships.
What happens when young people start to live with their families?
Parents can be jealous (especially if their daughter or son is the only child in the family) and suddenly he or she pays very little attention and doesn’t visit them; and even if he/she lives in the same apartment, he/she listens to the opinion of another person. This is a huge hit on “Ego” and that’s why the parents can begin to actively intervene, give advice and demand a lot of attention. Not every family can survive this attitude and overcome this problem.
- A wife may try to completely take her husband into her possession and not let his mother have such power and such influence over him. The wife most often wants to be not only the main woman in his life, but the only one.
- A husband can be irritated because of constant interventions from the mother-in-law, because of the wife’s desire to take into account her mother all the time. Daughters often spend a lot of energy on their mothers, who thus compensate their childish lack of love.
- Sometimes families live together – and then this test intensifies many times. Two housewives on the kitchen. Lack of personal space. Unclear division of responsibilities.
Of course, all these factors are a big test for a couple. And not every family can overcome it. The solution to these issues is to live separately and love your parents at a distance from the very beginning, even if it is very difficult financially. This helps them to grow up and feel responsibility, and save your own space.
It is parents who play an important role in difficult situations. If the mother says to her son, who is experiencing a family crisis: “Yes, I told you from the beginning that she is not the best match for you” – he will remember this. And this phrase will pop up in his head from time to time.
If the mother says to her upset daughter: “I told you that you are wasting your time in vain with him!» The daughter hears it and during quarrels with her husband – this phrase will pop up in her mind again and again.
But there are other parents who remember how they were young and wish their children happiness. Such parents will teach their daughters and sons to be patient:
- “Yes, son, my mom and I also had a crisis. It was not easy for us. But I knew that this is the best woman in my life. And I was ready to change for her”.
- “Yes, daughter, your dad, was hurting me too. That is the relationship. It is impossible to be happy and joyful all the time”.
Partners must come to an agreement on what decisions their parents can influence; to determine in which areas of life they can intervene, and in which – not. Otherwise, the intervention of parents or someone from the family in the life of a young couple can make a split of Ukrainian wedding traditions, often without knowing what exactly causes negative feelings in the relationship.