Sabotaging relationship – Mature Singles
10 easiest ways to destroy the relationship with single Russian woman
Any relationship is unique and unrepeatable. But the mistakes that we make are often the same. Even one of them can become fatal, and in fact sometimes we do all ten at once.
1. Mature singles underestimate themselves
In the modern world, we have constantly to assert our own importance. We always prove something to someone, and even when we do not succeed, defeat must still be taken with dignity. In such a tense atmosphere, self-esteem drops easily, and the sense of self-worth is lost. In relations, one can’t underestimate himself in any way: first, this leads to the fact that the partner begins to underestimate his relationship with a loved one, perceive them as an accident or a result of luck; secondly, in a crisis situation, low self-esteem deprives the opportunity to find a way out.
2. We underestimate what a partner does for us
Ironically, many men are not familiar with the female view of romance. They do not pretend and really have no idea what “ideal relations for a woman” should be, so they act as they think is right. Women rarely say exactly what they want, so a man simply does not know what he was not told, and a “subtle hint” may simply be incomprehensible. A man does not know how exactly take care of a woman, and he does what he can. It is necessary to ask your girlfriend constantly whether she is happy or try to feel her and foresee her mood. Try to provoke her into a frank conversation and you will make life easier for both!
3. You try to restrict the freedom of the partner
The first thing that many partners do immediately, as soon as they have a relationship, is to require a long-term commitment, issued in advance. Of course, a bunch of eternal love promises provides a certain psychological comfort, because it gives a sense of security. But this security is imaginary: a promise is not a guarantee with a seal, it can easily be broken. On the other hand, these obligations are mutual. Are you sure that after ten years you will love this person (whom, perhaps, hardly know)? Give some time to each other.
4. Try to change the partner
In your dreams you can meet ideal people, but any person from the real world will have both pleasant and unpleasant features. If your lover is a man of flesh and blood, and not a product of imagination, then it’s perfectly normal that you do not like something about her. Unfortunately, another person can’t be changed. You should not even try. You can only get used to or refuse from a relationship with this person, if you understand that you will not be able to reconcile. Weigh all the pros and cons; soberly assess the situation and your own strength. If you definitely do not want to leave, try to focus on what you love this person for, and in any case, do not discuss with her undesirable traits for you. Just because there’s nothing to discuss.
5. They rely entirely on the partner
Help and support is one thing, and total dependence is completely different. Transferring the responsibility for your life to another person, you enter with him into completely unhealthy relationships: henceforth, your self-confidence, emotional stability and feeling yourself “at your place” no longer belong to you. They depend on another person – and people, whatever one may say, are very changeable. Do not confuse “love” with “I can’t be without you.”
6. Reject attempts to talk
Yes, sometimes people can be very difficult to understand. If we are angry or offended, then least of all we want to understand someone or put ourselves into their shoes, and especially – to start “the clarification of relations.” Nevertheless, an attempt to clarify something is never meaningless (unless, of course, you are trying to achieve clarity, and do not exchange mutual insults). Moreover: the more difficult it is for you to understand your loved one – the more you need to talk with her! So have patience: a common language appears with time and with experience.
7. Find reasons to fight about the things they can’t control
In life, the things rarely happen exactly as we planned. To be upset because of the broken plans is normal, but this is where you have to stop. If you find reasons to fight or endlessly grieve, when something goes wrong, you will only spoil your mood and the mood of your partner. It makes sense to clearly distinguish the resolution of a difficult situation – and banal quibbles. And, of course, remember that plans are just plans, but the main thing after all is that you are together with your loved one.
Relations go through different stages. Sometimes they can be difficult, sometimes we are jealous, sometimes we are sorely lacking in reliability, and it also happens that we are simply unhappy. All this is worth discussing with a partner. If you are absolutely sure that you want something completely different, what these relationships will never give to you, and then gather your strength and leave – it does not make sense to delay. If not – do not risk trust in your relationship: in the end, it will be the mistrust that will ruin everything. In addition, often one of the partners cheats to increase their self-esteem. Mature singles will never use this method! In the end, the effect will be exactly the opposite: you will feel worse than the one to whom you are trying to take revenge, and self-esteem will drop again. And if you still cherish your beloved, then you’ll have to blame yourself for cheating.
9. Make decisions for the partner
In matters of choice, everyone has the right to vote and express his opinion. Your partner, respecting you, of course, listens to you, but still it is not worth it to go too far.
10. Ignore personal boundaries
Every person needs to be alone from time to time. Someone needs a lot of time, someone will have half an hour a day. If your partner wants to be alone, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t need you. If she is silent – this is not a sign that you are uninteresting to her. The same goes for you: no matter how great and sincere your love was, spend some time alone, put things in order in your head, read books, and in no case throw a hobby that your partner does not share. Do not literally dissolve in your loved ones. It’s wrong: of course, both of you are a whole, but you are still two separate people, and each of you is an independent person.
If you seriously think about what destroys the relationship, then the situation has reached a critical point. It is important to understand the problem as early as possible. Find the way out, how not to destroy the relationship – it is necessary if the last hope still exists. If you value your single Russian woman, want to continue living together, and then show more love, kindness, understanding and patience. These feelings rarely remain unrequited.