You chances on a dating market if you are a single father
How to start dating after divorce
Divorce! It’s the most heartbreaking and awful experience that you may have in your life. This traumatic event can be compared with a little death, a death of love that you thought would last forever, a death of stable life you had. After everything is over, you have to start building up your life again, you have to face all your fears and make a step towards new relationship. But it’s easy to say and hard to do.
The post-divorce period of being alone is very individual. Some needs a couple of years while others need only a few months or even weeks. Let’s assume that your survived after your divorce and now you are a better version of who you are. You are ready for a new life and for finding new love but you don’t know where to start with.
First of all, if you ask yourself where to meet women, your single friends can help or you may register on the online dating sites and find the opportunity to go out for a date. You have to be sure that you are ready for social life. Maybe you are not ready for starting a new relationship yet but it doesn’t prevent you from chatting with different women online and even from going out for a date.
The best time to start dating after divorce when you feel comfortable about it, when you are ready to have some fun and meet new people. Are you curious about meeting beautiful ladies? Is your heart craving for new experience and affection?
Dating advice tips for beginners
Don’t rush, come into a new adventurous world slowly. To give you an idea of what you should do, here are some dating advice tips.
Figure out that you are ready for meeting different women
Register on the dating site but find the one or two that are right for you and see how it works. Don’t expect too much in the beginning, you will probably spend many hours chatting with wrong women before you meet the one who can be your match.
N.B. Don’t allow yourself to be involved in endless chatting, invite ladies for a date and go out.
First meeting: when and where
It’s not a good idea to invite a lady for a dinner as your first meeting. You don’t know if there is a sparkle between you when you meet and the time you are going to spend with her will seem to be endless. A cup of coffee or a cocktail is much better to feel if there is chemistry between you.
Dating is a kind of a game
Date with several women at the same time. From one side, it helps you not to putting all your eggs into one basket; from the other side, you can analyze what you like and don’t like in all those ladies. It will be a great opportunity for you to discover what truly attracts you in women: sense of humor, intelligence or just a sincere smile.
Always be honest
Don’t give hope to those whom you are not going to meet for a second time or who didn’t catch your attention. You have to be open and just say: “We are having a nice date and I’m enjoying it, but for now I’m also dating others casually”.
Talks on the first date.
Try to find the topics where you can share your interest like hobbies, movies, books . You may ask any questions about her personality, her life, her work but try to avoid telling her about your ex. In case, if she decides to ask you this question, tell her that you can discuss it on your second date…and who knows if you invite her for a second date?
Don’t bring your kids for a first date
If you are a single father, try to find a baby-sitter or reschedule the time of your date but don’t bring kids on your first date. Don’t introduce your kids to your date unless you have a committed relationship for 6 months. You children don’t deserve an additional stress.
Texting like chatting is very popular nowadays but it can’t replace the real communication. To inform a lady that you are 5-minutes late sending sms is ok, but don’t turn your communication in sending the messages back and forth too much during a day. Make a call and tell her that you enjoy hearing her voice. The best way to know each other is to talk to each other and spend the time together.
To be mature and honest or just disappear
If you are not interested in someone and you don’t want to invite them for a second or third date, be polite and mature dropping a message (if you don’t want to call) telling a person that you can just be friends and nothing more. Don’t disappear without saying a word. The world isn’t so huge as you might think and you never know when you can meet that lady again. Bad penny always comes back.
Dating is a process
Prepare yourself for ups and downs meeting different women who don’t find place in your heart. There will be weeks when you have many dates and when you have none. Be patient! Keep looking for that one who is waiting for you, who exist and whom you have to find.
How to overcome a failure
It’s not only you who make a decision on the first date if a second date happens. It’s unpleasant to get a refusal but you have to be ready for it; besides, you may put yourself in lady’s shoes when you don’t want to meet them again. You cannot match anyone. You can only change yourself and improve your better qualities.
Mostly all men have their “type” of woman. Some like taller, others like shorter. Some like skinner, others like heavier. Every woman is unique no matter what color, age, weigh or height she has. You should be attracted to her personality and find the place for her in your heart.
What are the chances of a divorced father in a dating world?
What women think about a divorced man? Single women can be skeptical and think that something is “wrong” with you. They will wonder if the reason of your divorce is true, if it was your ex who left you and if it was she – then why? But both men and women are skeptical about any first date they have and it’s normal.
A divorced man will be high attractive to a divorce woman. They definitely know that divorce is only one part of your life and it isn’t your personality, that’s why they will listen to your story and make their conclusion after. Divorced women know that divorced man knows much more about commitment than a bachelor. Most single men above age 40 have a fear of commitment and other issues that may push a woman away from any relationship with them.
You are a single father and you worry about the relationship between your child and your new passion. She has a child too and there is another question – if your kids can be friends and not be jealous about their parents. First of all, man with a kid will be more attractive for a woman with a kid simply because he has parental experience. It may also work with a man who has never had kids but the divorced man has a privilege. Besides, to women’s opinion, a divorced dad maybe ready to try fatherhood again.
When you feel that the time is right and you finally make a decision to introduce your kid to your new girlfriend, don’t force the relationship between them. Let them be friends and arrange the meeting naturally. Kids can be jealous and see a threat to their relationship with their parent in every woman they meet. For the first time, introduce your new girlfriend as a friend who came to have a cup of tea, let them have a contact without your help. A smart woman or a woman who has a child too will find the way how to get in touch with your kid. The same goes for you. If you meet your woman’s child, treat them like another adult (depending of their age of course), be yourself and always be good and gentle with their mom.
So, if you both have kids, when is the right time to introduce them to each other? You have a relationship with your partner for a while and you know already what your kid think about your partner, you also know if your partner’s child likes you or not too. When you both understand that your relationship is serious and you see it in a long term perspective, it’s the right time for your children to meet. Another question you may ask: “How to choose the place for meeting?” Neither your home or the home of your partner is the best place for it. It has to be a place or event with games and activities, when they can have fun together and be involved in a play as a team. The main advice is that you both have to act like it is not a big deal for you. No pressure! No rush! Probably, the children won’t get along on their first meeting and that’s ok too. They have to know that you love them and care about them. What they really have to do is to be respectful!
To be a single father isn’t a sentence and dating after divorce is just a first stage into a new life, a life when you will be incredibly happy, deeply in love and thankful to your ex for your divorce because otherwise you wouldn’t meet the love of your life.