Dating expert for men Elena Vygnanyuk: loneliness
Breakup is a start of a new life
Almost every couple sooner or later starts to analyze their relationship and doubt about their choice. Sometimes such uncertainty leads to rethinking of relationship and every partner can see the best features of the other one and relationship becomes stronger. But more often the relationship ends with a breakup and it brings pain and suffering into our life because spending a lot of time with your partner, you become the whole. Even if you have disagreements, your partner is still the dearest person you have at the moment. There are also situations when one of the partners realizes that they don’t want this kind of relationship, that they live with a wrong person and that they want to grow separately.
Breakup is always the hardest period in our life. That’s why many psychological tests for defining the level of stress include questions about break up and divorce, together with the questions about death of beloved people . This happens because these events are considered to be almost the same for the human’s mentality If the breakup happened mutually, it’s easier to understand and move on but if one of the partners was left – it can become real problem for self-esteem and harmonious life. Life doesn’t have its sense anymore, all the plans for the future are destroyed, and the life you loved doesn’t exist anymore. If you are not strong enough to overcome the breakup, your best friend will be a Depression.
Dr.Geoff Warburton (who spent 25 years studying loss) said: “Even if you’ve lost the love of your life, you’ve not been cheated by life. We cheat life if we close our hearts after we lose someone”
Psychologists consider breakup to be a loss and figured out four stages that a person experiences after it.
- Negation. You can’t believe that everything is over, you still make plans for the future, hoping that everything will be fine and the problem will be solved. You do not accept the situation at all.
- Anger. You understand that there is no relationship. Anger can be both inside a person and outside towards their ex-partner.
- Resumption. You want to start the relationship with the same partner again, renew what you had and your pain is stronger when you understand that nothing comes back.
- Depression. When you realize that there is no chance to be with your ex, you feel apathy, despair and sadness.
But if you overcome the 4th stage, you become stronger and the new page of your life opens for you.
Loneliness or freedom?
Usually after breakup, people suffer from loneliness, they think that it is a flow to be alone. But according to personal researches, every person needs a recovery period that usually takes about 1 year. Accept your loneliness as a start, as the beginning of new life, new goals, new meetings , new dates and new relationship. You are free from now, you can do whatever you want. Go on!
What you have to do to start enjoying your life again:
- Fill your life with new, interesting and bright moments. Life is too short to drink bad wine;
- Stop suffering intentionally because your relationship is over. If one door is closed, many more are open;
- Don’t stay at home being alone: meet your friends, go to gym or swimming pool, travel;
- Don’t refuse to go for a date. Meet new people
- Buy new clothes. Who said that shopping is only for women?
- Start doing the things you couldn’t in relationship because of lack of time;
The possibility to be alone is a sign of human emotional maturity. Being in relationship with someone you can still feel being alone. How can your partner feel comfortable with you if you don’t comfortable with yourself? Get the satisfaction from this part of your life, be pleased with your freedom and explore new sides of life. Being alone is a great opportunity to analyze yourself, to feel yourself, to realize what experience you got and accumulate your inner energy for the future. Loneliness is just a meeting with yourself and it can be very valuable as you can find out something special that you haven’t noticed before.
Loneliness is not only a freedom in your actions it is also a pause that you have to use for the benefit of yourself. Listen to yourself, pay attention to the things you haven’t noticed before, do the things that opposite to what you get used to. Make friends with the loneliness and get the skill to say to your next partner: “I can live without you, but it is so nice and pleasant to be with you”.
Leave the past in the past
When the relationship is over, it’s hard to believe that the new life is possible again. It is necessary to do so you can live your life to the fullest. Start everything from the new page, don’t bring your past experience into a new relationship, accept every new partner as a personality.
Forget about negative stuff in your life and replace it with positive thinking. You need motivation to believe in love again: read the biography of famous people, ask your friends about their parents’ relationship and you will definitely find many loving stories that last the whole life. If you couldn’t build the relationship you wanted once, it doesn’t mean you wouldn’t meet the love of your life soon. You deserve to love and to be loved.
There is a wonderful opportunity to meet beautiful Ukrainian ladies on the dating sites or through the marriage agencies. If you are still afraid of being hurt and you don’t know how many days/months/years you need to be healed after your breakup, you need a professional help of dating expert for men, who provides you with direct advice and honest insight in to the female mind and how to seduce and have a long lasting relationship with women. He will teach you how to pick and date with a woman you desire, how to have a practical skill to attract women, assist you in verbal and non-verbal flirting but first of all he is a professional who will help you to be a better man.
A dating expert for men Elena Vygnanyuk knows everything about meeting and dating beautiful Ukrainian ladies.