How to meet Ukraine girl who will be a partner for life?
How to meet Ukraine girl who will be a partner for life?
How do we know if we are going to join our life with the right person? Why is it important to know exactly who you want to find and what kind of relationship you want to have. And can we make the life together long and happy?
All ideas that someone fits us perfectly are related to “here and now.” It is here and at this moment – someone really can make a wonderful duet with you and match you so perfectly that you want to say: “This is my destiny.” This someone can be the most wonderful of all we’ve met before – at the moment. However, to conclude that this person matches us once and forever is possible only by experiencing it in time. Only then it will be possible to conclude that everything was perfect, right and good.
Someone is lucky to meet HER, but someone is not. Why?
Some people can match us more than others, and we really can recognize them. There are several reasons that can prevent you from knowing those who are potentially your match.
1. The dream of “your half” obscures the reality
The best way to ignore what is happening around you is to look only at your dreams and see only the image of the ideal partner, to compare others only with this image and refuse everyone who isn’t the same as a girl from your dreams. Then the dream of an ideal relationship or “your half” can be the reason of not having the relationship at all.
2. You are focused on the things outside
Unfortunately, people’s faces do not say that one of them is the right partner for you. Therefore, to rely on the search for a partner only on something external, which is from the outside, is impossible. This is the most unreliable landmark.
Paradoxically, you can guess the right partner for yourself, not imagining of what kind of lady she will be, but studying who YOU are. You can’t know in advance what kind of hair and eyes she will have, how she likes to spend her free time and what her profession is. However, you can definitely know what you want for yourself, what our interests and values are and what goals we set for ourselves. The most important and most correct criteria by which you can recognize HER is yourself; because if you do not know yourself, where is the guarantee that you will choose what you want and know how to meet Ukraine girl. Then you really need some external reference point, a compass, which will tell you: “Here she is.” And yet the best way to learn her is to invest in yourself. Thus, you will possess not only a well-functioning internal compass, but also a mature and developed personality.
3. No experience in finding what you need
It happens that we do not know what we need, because we missed the «testing” stage that the child goes through with the parents. Therefore inside of you there can be no criteria on which you could rely. If you have never eaten fruit, how do you know which one is the most delicious for you? Then the task at the moment is getting experience. It may be important for you to try, stop, if everything fits you, or go further in finding something else, realizing that you do not need this.
4. I want everything at once
You may want to avoid wasting your time with others and immediately find someone who will make up an ideal match with you. Those others, who do not match you, may seem not worthy of attention, not important stages of the biography that you can skip. This item is somewhat similar to paragraph 1.
Chasing everything and at once is the best way to not catch anything. One partner can be perfect for building a family and giving a birth to children, and for a passionate love affair – absolutely another one. Sometimes our desires can’t fit in one person. For example, the role of an ideal mother for her children can assume the status of a housewife, and the role of an interesting partner can suit to those who have an active social life. Perhaps what we want from one single person can be divided into several.
Is it necessary to “test” your relationship?
Marriage is not a honeymoon on the islands, no celebrations about buying your first home and certainly not an endless Valentine’s Day. Of course, it also includes all this but in microscopic amounts. And for the most part, marriage consists, for example, of Thursdays. And also Tuesdays, Fridays and other ordinary days that you can hardly remember about it next day. And it’s important that this Thursday, like hundreds or thousands other Thursdays, you’ll spend with the same person. A long happy family life can be compared to climbing to the top. You cannot reach it in one jump: you need to break your route into small segments and gradually overcome each of them. Such an interval of common life is that ordinary Thursday. How can we achieve this goal?
Your partner should be your friend. To determine true friendship, we recommend you a “traffic test” (invented by Tim Urban, one of the most popular bloggers and who can teach you very interesting things as dating coach for guys). It’s not what you thought. Here is how the author explains this concept: “I enjoy spending time with most of my friends—that’s why they’re my friends. But with certain friends, the time is so high-quality, so interesting, and so fun that they pass the Traffic Test. The Traffic Test is passed when I’m finishing up a hangout with someone and one of us is driving the other back home or back to their car, and I find myself rooting for traffic. That’s how much I’m enjoying the time with them.
Passing the Traffic Test says a lot. It means I’m lost in the interaction, invigorated by it, and that I’m the complete opposite of bored.
To me, almost nothing is more critical in choosing a life partner than finding someone who passes the Traffic Test. When there are people in your life who do pass the Traffic Test, what a whopping shame it would be to spend 95% of the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t.”
A Traffic Test-passing friendship entails:
A great sense of humor click. No one wants to spend 50 years fake laughing.
Fun. And the ability to extract fun out of unfun situations—airport delays, long drives, errands. Not surprisingly, studies suggest that the amount of fun a couple has is a strong predictor for their future.
A respect for each other’s brains and way of thinking. A life partner doubles as a career/life therapist, and if you don’t respect the way someone thinks, you’re not going to want to tell them your thoughts on work each day, or on anything else interesting that pops into your head, because you won’t really care that much what they have to say about it.
A decent number of common interests, activities, and people-preferences. Otherwise a lot of what makes you ‘you’ will inevitably become a much smaller part of your life, and you and your life partner will struggle to find enjoyable ways to spend a free Saturday together.
A Feeling of Home
Feeling “at home” means feeling safe, cozy, natural, and utterly yourself, and in order to have this feeling with a partner, a few things need to be in place according to Tim’s Urban’s experience:
Trust and security. Secrets are poison to a relationship, because they form an invisible wall inside the relationship, leaving both people somewhat alone in the world. Who wants to spend 50 years lying or worrying about hiding something? And on the other side of secrets will often be suspicion, a concept that directly clashes with the concept of home.
Natural chemistry. Interacting should be easy and natural, energy levels should be in the same vicinity, and you should feel on the same “wavelength” in general. When you are with someone on a very different wavelength than you are, it doesn’t take long before the interaction becomes exhausting.
Acceptance of human flaws. You’re flawed. Like, really flawed. And so is your current or future life-partner. Being flawed is part of the definition of being a human. And one of the worst fates would be to spend most of your life being criticized for your flaws and reprimanded for continuing to have them. If you really want to have a life partnership, you must have the healthy attitude to flaws and tell yourself: “Every person comes with a set of flaws, these are my partner’s, and they’re part of the package I knowingly chose to spend my life with.”
A generally positive vibe. Remember, this is the vibe you’re a part of now, forever. It’s not really acceptable for it to be a negative one, nor is it sustainable. Relationship scientist John Gottman has found that “couples with a ratio of fewer than five positive interactions for every negative one are destined for divorce.”
Work on relationship
Relationship is a hard work and if you do not work hard at office, then you can forget about your career. Similarly, you can forget about strong, harmonious partnerships, if you do not make an effort. Which one? Tim Urban notes several areas:
Communication. Poor communication is the downfall of a huge number of couples—in fact, in a study on divorcees, communication style was the top thing they said they’d change for their next relationship. Communication is hard to do well consistently—successful couples often need to create pre-planned systems or even partake in couples’ therapy to make sure it happens.
Maintaining equality. Relationships can slip into an unequal power dynamic pretty quickly. When one person’s mood always dictates the mood in the room, when one person’s needs or opinion consistently prevail over the other’s, when one person can treat the other in a way they’d never stand for being treated themselves—you’ve got a problem.
Fighting well. Fighting is inevitable. But there are good and bad ways to fight. When a couple is good at fighting, they defuse tension, approach things with humor, and genuinely listen to the other side, while avoiding getting nasty, personal or defensive. They also fight less often than a bad couple. According to John Gottman, 69% of a typical couple’s fights are perpetual, based on core differences, and cannot be resolved—and a skilled couple understands this and refrains from engaging in these brawls again and again
Neuro-linguistic programming in relationship
Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) in modern psychotherapy is one of the most popular methods of influencing the human psyche. It is used practically in all aspects of life. Effective NLP techniques in love can be used by both women and men. They help create new or improve existing relationships. How the romance ends and how it will develop depends directly on the person himself, his aspirations and desires.
Effective techniques of manipulation of consciousness are used in practice and have repeatedly proved their effectiveness. Men who want to learn the initial seduction skills for the opposite sex can pay attention to the following methods:
- “Illusion of choice”: Thanks to the techniques of NLP, it is possible to create the girl’s illusion that she chooses one or another variant. The essence of the methodology is quite simple: it uses questions of a “closed type”. In other words, the question itself already contains the answer to it. For example: “Where do you prefer to go to a movie or cafe?” In this case, not every lady will choose the third option.
The main thing to remember when applying this method, both choices should be beneficial for the man. Another method of using the technique is that in the question one of the answers should be initially negative so that the girl does not choose it. So, the phrase can be constructed as follows: “The weather is wonderful today. Do you want to sit in this stuffy cafe or go for a walk in the open air? “.
- The “Plus-minus” method is based on the contrast of experienced emotions. A positive response will have a great effect, if a negative emotion is caused before. For example, on a date, you can make a compliment to another girl, which will be a “minus”. But then the mistake is corrected by pleasant words to your partner, which is counted as a plus. Moreover, the latter should cause a stronger emotional reaction.
- “Rule of one consent.” The essence of the methodology is that a sentence is expressed first, and the question is asked after. If the lady answers positively, then most likely she will agree with the first statement.
For example, an invitation for a date may sound like this: “Let’s meet and go to the movies. Do you like comedies? “. Regardless of whether the partner responds positively or negatively, she subconsciously has already agreed with the first sentence. Phrases can be reversed, first the question, then the statement. But this is typical for men who are not completely sure of themselves and prefer to adjust to the wishes of their partners.
- “Choice without choice” acts on a similar principle. A woman is offered free choice from the only one possible option. For example, when appointing a date, the phrase should be: “When are you free, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? » So, initially it is assumed that the meeting will take place but the partner creates the illusion that the choice remains for her.
There are techniques for women and men in NLP, but there are techniques that are successfully used by representatives of both sexes. Do not assume that manipulation is very simple. It will take a lot of effort to learn them perfectly. However, the result will not take long. After all, to become happy, to have success with the opposite sex, to improve existing relationships – this is the goal of most who want to learn the techniques of NLP in love. If you need practicing and the guide who will explain you how to act and what to say, you can ask dating coach for guys.