Relationship advice: personality type combinations in love
Relationship tips for partners
How often people do think about personality type combinations when they choose a partner, when they fall in love, when they are attracted to a person? What do we know about personality type combinations in love life? To get some relationship tips, we are guided with our knowledge of astrological signs and checking the horoscopes, we are familiar with notion of extraversion–introversion, we read such books as “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gray but does it help us to understand what type of personality we and our partner have for a stable and long lasting relationship?
There are only three systems based on hormone and personality matching of how love and relationship can start:
- Lust – when you can resist the passion you have for Her (sex drive or libido). Some people have sex with someone new and then fall in love, but you have to initiate mating with a range of partners.
- Attraction – is the first stage of romantic love. Some fall in love first, then have sex. You have to focus on one partner at a time.
- Attachment –is a deep feeling of a union with a long term partner. Some feel a deep feeling of attachment to another, which then turns into romance and the sex drive. It gives us an opportunity to form a pair bond and be together as a team.
This theory was proposed by Helen E. Fisher who is not only an American anthropologist, human behavior researcher, and self-help author but a leading expert on the biology of love and attraction. She also divided people into 4 types of personality depending of what hormones dominate when we are romantically in love: dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, estrogen/oxytocin.
If dopamine prevails, a person is constantly looking for something new. People of this type are called “Explorers”.
If serotonin prevails, a person has such features like faithfulness, calmness, and love to put everything in order. People of this type are called “Builders”.
People, who have a high level of testosterone, are demanding and strong, they look at every situation clear and have a strategic thinking. They are called “Directors”.
Estrogen influences both on men and women and personalities whose estrogen dominates are creative, sensitive, the best negotiators, know how to gather and analyze the information and that’s why they got the name “Negotiators”.
Due to these chemical patterns Explorers are mostly attracted and looking for other Explorers (interested people want interested partners for discovering new things). Builders go for other Builders (people with traditional views seek people with the same stereotypes). Directors, who acted by influence of testosterone, are fascinated to their opposite Negotiators and vice versa; the couple Director-Negotiator can have harmonious relationship only if “Director” is a man.
Relationship advice: to choose or not to choose.
Can we accept the theory of Helen E. Fisher as a relationship advice? Have you ever thought WHY you chose HER? What was it that attracted you to her? What did you feel at that moment? Even according to Helen E. Fisher’s classification we don’t have to forget that each of us is a personality and that we are all a unique combination of all 4 types. Do you follow your emotions or common sense? Do you really know what you want from partner? Do you need a sparkle or chemistry when you see her for the first time?
Experience in relationship doesn’t appear at the same moment when a human is born. It takes time, practicing and even training. To find out what type of woman you need, what type of outer appearance or personality you are looking for, and what kind of relationship you want, you must have a number of dates with different ladies. Once you decide what your preferences are, you will be successful in choosing the right woman.
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