Why you keep attracting wrong women into your life
Why you keep attracting wrong women into your life
How often did you suffer from an unattainable person? Or be in a relationship in which there is a lot of tension, dissatisfaction, but you cannot finish them? Or maybe there are doubts whether you joined your life with the right woman or whether you should continue your search?
Each of us experienced unhappy love at least once in our life. Why is it happening, you may ask? In the classical literature, songs and romances, we are accustomed to seeing and hearing about such love that brings suffering, in which self-sacrifice, immature and irresponsible relationships are praised. Cultural stereotypes inspire us that love is measured by suffering, only those who experience real suffering really love. We do not know of other examples and are infected with such behavior.
Do you know this feeling when you met friendly people who showed interest in you and treated you well, but it was uncomfortable for you? And with further communication you become bored and lost the interest in them. We are not attracted by such relationships, because they do not have the drama and suffering that we have been accustomed to since childhood!
If we grew up in families where parents treated us cruelly, manipulated, criticized or suppressed, forbade us to cry, get angry or even laugh, then we lose our sensitivity. We cease to trust ourselves and understand ourselves, become blocked; we experience “emptiness” inside. Therefore, in order to understand that we are alive, we need to experience strong emotions, like drama and suffering.
Ask yourself, how do you feel with your partner? What do you lack in the relationship and how do you behave?
There exists an opinion that we attract partners who are similar to our parents. But more precisely, we are attracting people into our lives, in relations with whom we will feel like in childhood with parents. We will recreate these relationships with other people, with the desire to correct and master the situation, to be a winner, but often, we fall on the same rake. This is called retraumotization (secondary trauma).
But do you know how to meet Ukraine girl? How are you going to make a choice? What is the magic of desire between a man and a woman? Relationships are puzzles, based on the needs of each person. For example, a woman who wants to be needed, will attract a man who will put on the life responsibility on her shoulders. Or a woman inclined to self-sacrifice, will find a self-centered egoistic man. Or a woman playing the role of a victim will choose a man inclined to violence and aggression. A woman with a strong bossy character will be with a man who considers himself weak.
Thus, we choose a partner that suits us as a “key to the lock.” We pay attention only to those who by their behavior can help us to recreate the traumatic situation and be healed. Other people do not impress us. We are bored and not interested in them. This is what the concept of “love” is for most people. Therefore, there are no accidents in either relationships or in marriage. To be healed, we need to know what kind of internal programs we have and how they affect us.
4 dating advice to avoid meeting a “wrong” woman
I’m attracting the wrong women: what should I do?
Why do you attract the wrong women or why do not you meet wrong women? Before you start to worry – think, do you know what kind of woman you are waiting for in your life? Do you know who she is – an ideal woman for you? Many men complain that in their lives all women are wrong and not of the kind they want. But when you ask them what kind of woman they want to see next to themselves, as you get vague phrases in response: “Well, she must be caring, beautiful and good mistress”. If you now realize that you have never thought about whom exactly your woman should be, then take a sheet of paper and describe in details how you see the ideal partner – how she looks, what she does, what she is interested in and the way how to meet Ukraine girl. Describe everything about your future fiancée from the color of her dress and what she likes to eat for breakfast to her interests.
Do you correspond to a certain image?
Asking the question “Why do I attract the wrong women? » many men make a mistake: for example, a man sees a woman whom he has already described and imagined: a slender, well-groomed beautiful, wonderful lady. But at the same time, the described image of a woman must correspond to a certain image of a man. If our hero only spends the time on the couch, drinks beer, does not go to the gym and does not read books, then meeting the woman from his dream will be very difficult. At the same time, “wrong women” will stick to him simply because they will completely correspond to his image. Of course, a man will consider them “wrong”, when in fact they will fully match him.
Therefore, if you understand that you do not match the image of your ideal woman – go further. If you understand that there is a certain ideal, but you do not quite fit her surroundings, then you’d better change yourself, or ask yourself the question “who is ideal woman for you” again. An ideal woman should not be a picture from a magazine! Making up her image, take into account not beautiful shots from Hollywood movies, but what you really are and who you would like to see next to you.
Don’t expect that the “wrong” woman will change
It’s a common mistake. A man meets a woman whom he likes, but at the same time, she does not meet expectations. Instead of peacefully saying goodbye and forgetting her (that is how a man who meets a “wrong” woman should do), he expects that she might change and instead of being a “wrong” woman she will become perfect. For some, it takes years. Sometimes they even manage to achieve certain results, but, in most cases, you will get a failure. Having spent a few months of your life on relationships with a “wrong” woman, despairing and losing faith, men literally cry about not meeting the right one. The meeting of the “wrong” woman could pass very quickly, imperceptibly and painlessly, if at the very beginning you realized that she is not your half, and go on!
Relationships are always the work of two partners! Do not forget about this. Many men in the first 6-12 months of the relationship after having the first disagreements (which occur absolutely in every couple, and there is nothing terrible or wrong) decide that the woman is “wrong” and start thinking how to finish the relationship. Quarrels and disagreements are normal! If you do not agree on certain things, there is nothing to worry about. We are all different people and even relatives and friends can disagree. Instead of making sudden conclusions and being upset that your life is not so beautiful and carefree as in a romantic movie or book, learn dating advice and work both on yourself and on relationships.