Are you ready to make the first step to meet Ukrainian ladies?
Today, people are looking differently at the question of initiative and leadership in the relationship. Moreover, there are differences in views within a group of representatives of the same sex. Someone, following the established stereotypes, will actively convince us that only a man should be the initiator of the relations development. Otherwise, a woman may seem too accessible, assertive or even intrusive. If men didn’t make any effort to win her heart from the very beginning, and even if the relations are tied up, they will not be appreciated highly. Moreover, a man can simply be afraid of excessive activity on the part of a stranger and nullify possible communication. Opponents of this point of view, in contrast, argue that all these are vestiges of the past and it does not matter who takes the first step if there is mutual sympathy or you risk spending your whole life waiting for the moment when they will choose you.
So in life it happens that the stereotypes about who should take the first step in everything that concerns the life of men and women can change their whole life. Traditionally, the first steps are expected, of course from the men but what if he does not dare to do it?
Some men believe that a woman can and should take the first step if she does it wisely. For example, a woman can take the first step so masterly and beautifully that the man will be absolutely sure that it was he who made it. Such men do not see anything wrong with the manifestation of the women’s initiative. Even on the contrary, they consider this step worthy of respect, since the woman does not hesitate and leads her way as her heart tells her. And all men are pleased to get attention when they meet Ukrainian ladies.
Other men have a conservative opinion and believe that it is rude when a woman imposes herself and thus kills any interest to her. Such men prefer to feel that they are leaders under any circumstances.
But in the first and second case, the man prefers to remain a leader. It’s more than normal! And the whole question is if a woman can be initiative wisely. This is the reason for the further behavior of the men.
Regardless of your gender, if you decide to take the initiative then do it carefully: do not go ahead, and with the help of hints smoothly transfer the initiative into the hands of a partner. So, if you want:
- to arrange a date. Do not focus on the fact that this is a date. For example, call and say: “A very beautiful park has opened, I would like to go there, and you?” It does not look too intrusive; besides, it is not so offensive to be refused.
- to start a relationship . Again the allegory will help you. For example: “If I had a partner with a character like you, I would be happy.”
- to be the first who confess love. Do it not in person for the first time, but come up with some interesting form: postcard, valentine, virtual message. No, of course, the words of love are more pleasant to say in the eyes, but if it can be very early, then your partner may get scared and somehow react inadequately. Give them time to think, understand their attitude and develop a strategy of behavior.
But in fact, the problem, of course, is not in the initiative. If a man is psychologically ready for this or that decision, woman can push him with her actions. And if he is not ready at all, nothing will work.
Britain psychologist relationship advice
British psychologists have proved that the ladies must always take their first steps in relationship, such as an invitation to a date, a confession of love, gifts, etc. The psychologists explain this by the fact that a man is a dominant subspecies, which must always be pleased.
In general, in our time, the foundations of society are no longer so categorical and no one will condemn a lady, who first offers to get acquainted with a man, but still many men have the instinct of a “hunter”, he needs to conquer his woman, otherwise any interest will be lost.
It’s another thing if a man is modest and indecisive, and nowadays there are a lot of men of this kind. In this case, a small initiative of the woman will not hurt trying to get acquainted, because nobody knows where our destiny is and you can miss your chance because of indecisiveness.
But, communication also has rules and it is not necessary to make friends with anyone:
- Don’t build air locks and fantasies about a new acquaintance; do not build far-reaching plans, at the first stage you need to know the partner as good as possible, the main goal is communication.
- Do not waste time on those who did not meet the expectations, if you found out that your new acquaintance does not suit you at all, your relationship advice is just leave.
- Do not rely on online dating, with their help you can only expand the geography of communication, but they will not replace real meetings.
- And most importantly, ignore those who do not absolutely match you. For example, a girl who is looking only for material interest in a relationship.
Is Ukrainian lady ready to be the first who shows her interest?
You may think that it is not difficult to come and show your interest to this or that person. Yes, the modern world has reached a stage where girls not only get acquainted first, but also pay for themselves in restaurants. However, there is a really dangerous moment that prevents to make the first step not only for the Ukrainian girl, but, in turn, for the man himself. It’s all about the feeling of fear, above all, the fear of human contact: what if they suddenly hurt you, what to do, how to heal the wounds of their offended self-esteem?
That’s what Ukrainian girls think about who should take the first step in a relationship:
Tatiana, 32 (Odessa)
“By nature, men should be determined. They need to understand what they want from life. Therefore, I believe that they should take the first steps. But nowadays, as soon as you don’t feel the reciprocity, a certain “chill” from the chosen one, they immediately back off from her, and they do not even try to attract her attention. Our fathers and grandfathers committed insane acts for their women. Maybe, of course, we have to blame ourselves for this. Now, many girls have one or two higher education, prestigious work and a lot of hobbies. Girls become independent and self-sufficient; some do not see the real sense to have a relationship at all. “
Irina, 38 (Poltava)
Initiative, independence and a certain percentage of self-confidence in a girl are good qualities, of course. In the dreams of many men are the sexy images of Angelina Jolie or Sharon Stone, and not the image of a fat and shy Bridget Jones. Men want to see beautiful and confident women next to them, though, often, in the relationship such an image will bother you quickly.
Kristina, 27 (Kiev)
In theory, it is a man who should act the first, but if he takes the first step (cares, gives flowers, invites you somewhere, and pays everywhere), and then forget about equality. Then he becomes a main person everywhere and in everything. There is, of course, another option – when the woman takes the initiative in acquaintance with a man. It’s okay if she does it right. The girl should hide her willingness to make the man interested in her: it can be clothes, style of behavior, gesticulation, emotions. It is necessary to create a situation in which the chosen one will feel himself as a man. In general, all that is required from her is to be weak and wait, and then the man will react. These are situations like: “oh, I dropped my purse”, “excuse me, will you help me,” etc.
Elena, 29 (Dnepr)
“Talking about relationships, about feelings of sympathy, about love between a man and a woman, it seems difficult to apply the word “must” in real life. In this word there is no flexibility, no creativity, no flight of feelings, which is very important in the relationship between a man and a woman, it sounds only like a rule and regulation. Yes, women are still waiting for initiatives from men; they like being looked after, paying attention and admiring their beauty. Men still like to conquer and win.
The attitude of passive waiting can be fatal for a couple that could potentially be together, because he was just shy about approaching, and she is convinced that by taking the initiative, she will push him away with her “obsession”. But should we limit ourselves when it comes to sincere interest in a person?
It is important to remember that the first step is better not to do with the idea “How could I make him to like me?”, but with a sincere desire simply to get to know this person. Excessive desire to impress and attract attention can just lead to a sense of obsession. A sincere interest in a person causes mutual interest in you – these are the laws of communication!